40Hubz

Trisha Stone asked:


Instant Internet Dating Success?

So you have been ploughing through those endless profiles on your internet dating site and have come up with someone who interests you. There has been an exchange of emails. He sounds fun and witty and you begin to look forward to his messages. You find yourself getting up earlier in the morning just to log on whilst you drink your coffee to see if he has sent a response to your latest remarks. During the day you find yourself compiling witty replies in your head and suggestive lines to throw his way. This has gone on for a couple of weeks and he suddenly asks if he can call you. Your chest expands; you are really excited and arrange a time. Now you are curled up in your favourite chair waiting for the call. Guess what it goes well, the same light banter, his voice is not what you expect but that is OK. You talk for an hour. This becomes a daily ritual which you begin to plan your time around. And then he invites you to dinner…

Preparing for that ‘first’ date

It has been a while since someone invited you out to dinner (you may be just starting dating after your divorce). Your immediate thought is what to wear, need my hair done etc. This means that you spend the best part of a week running around with the one thought in your mind “I must get this right”. You seem to have disappeared and you feel that you need to invent a new person to go on this date. In order to be that person you have to package yourself in some particular way. There must be some key that you can find, a particular dress, new haircut etc. You believe that you need to make yourself more appealing.

Is this a Relationship?

The evening has arrived and you meet at the arranged restaurant (good step, as all the dating advice recommends that you meet in a public place). You are especially nervous and excited but also slightly uncomfortable because the shoes are new and you feel a bit wobbly in them. It is strange you recognise this person but at the same time you don’t. The voice you know that but he does not look like the person in the photograph, taller, shorter a bit heavier or gangly something is not as you imagined. Anyway he seems quite at ease but maybe that is just a contrast to how you are feeling. Initially conversation is going well as there are points of contact from your previous conversations but it isn’t going anywhere. By the main course you are starting to drink a little too much to fill in the silences. Your feet really hurt now and you are taking surreptitious glances at your watch - only 9 o’clock. No dessert thanks and by the way you have an early start in the office tomorrow so you have to go soon. Can’t think of anything but getting out of the shoes. Yes it was good, do call me…

Fantasy Relationships

Next day or later in the week, the emails/calls are still coming and you continue to respond. It’s a though you have never met and you can get on with the easy going repartee that has become almost a habit. In your mind he is something you want him to be, well not quite but you can have yourself believe that he is whilst you exchange messages and late night calls. You are starting to develop a whole life in your head around this person, you imagine where you can live with him, what you will do, holidays together in fact everything you ever want with someone. This is taking up a lot of head space but that is enjoyable in itself, you feel connected to someone if only in your mind.

Keeping Dating in Balance

A week or so more and you are becoming slightly irritated by the emails and are not responding quite so readily. But he asks you if you want to come out for another evening and that heart leaps to your throat again. You agree even though there is a vague memory of discomfort from the first meeting. Well you remind yourself that all the dating advice recommends that it is about getting to know someone. I can’t expect to feel comfortable about everything immediately. He is suggesting dinner again, you don’t really want to but you are not sure what you want to do so you go along with it. You had arranged to see a girl-friend that night but you tell her you can’t make it, she seems a bit put-out but you put that thought aside.

The second evening seems very long.

• Too much too soon - It is so tempting to put all your focus on one person at a time when you are looking to date on the internet. But it is important to remember that not only are all those people out there looking at numerous people at any one time but you could be too. If you put most of your time and energy into any one contact at a very early stage this means that you cannot scout, screen and sort other possible people.

• Dating Advice #1: Don’t make a big investment emotionally in any relationship without solid foundations.

• Throwing money at it - Recent research has revealed that online daters are spending up to £1,500 a month taking out people who they realise, after the first 15 minutes are not for them. (Independent, June 2005) Remember be authentic, the packaging is only that and is not who you are. Meeting for a cup of coffee or a drink will give you enough time to assess whether this person is someone you want to know better.

• Dating Advice #2: Packaging is not the answer, be clear about who you are, what you want in a relationship and set about finding it in a considered way.

• Thinking you know this person - We can easily be seduced by email conversations and late night telephone calls. Apart from the actual chemistry that is missing in these exchanges there is that part that you know very well yourself, where you just reveal what you want at any given time. If you know what your requirements are in a relationship this will help you assess quite quickly if this person is for you. Most of us allow things to just drift along and are not pro-active in having a plan for ourselves when it comes to relationships.

• Dating Advice #3: How is it we plan for everything except relationships? Take some time to plan what you want in a relationship before you get into a habit or rut with someone.

• Fantasy - it’s only in your head - It is very easy to live in the fantasy of a relationship even from a very early stage. After all that is why you have signed up on the dating site in the first place - you want a relationship. However, being truthful with yourself is easier if you have a relationship plan. Then you can ask yourself, from the information you have so far, does this person tick some of my boxes. If so then you can continue to find out more about them whilst finding out about other people at the same time. Projecting onto any one person, especially at a very early stage, all you hopes and dreams is likely to bring you some amount of pain and heartache when you find this isn’t going to work out.

• Dating Advice #4: Spread the emotional load by giving your attention to a number of people, it helps deal with the ups and downs of the dating cycle if you are not exclusive right from the start.

• Not paying enough attention to the signals - it is amazing how quickly we can get ourselves into habits and relationships, however new, are one of those areas. We all like attention and contact with people but what about the rest of your life, those friends who have been around for you, your family. Anyone who might be for you will, you hope, want to share life with a person who has a balanced life and that includes all the other activities and people in your life. Straining towards exclusivity at a very early stage and throwing all your time and attention towards the relationship can be a disaster.

• Dating Advice #5: Get out there and have any dating and relationships fit in with your life as a successful single. Know what your requirements, needs and wants are and look for someone who can meet those.



Shirley

Nathalie Fiset asked:


Due to the convenience of virtual communication and online socializing, online dating has been growing steady fast over the years. In fact, international online dating memberships show that online dating grows 20 percent yearly.

Statistics shows that in the United States alone, nearly 40 million Americans are currently subscribed to at least one online dating service. Surveys also show that over $300 million is spent annually for online dating and with over 800 online dating sites in the Internet today, this figure is expected to grow double in the coming years.

OPENING A VIRTUAL AVENUE

Veering away from the common notion that online dating is creepy and unsafe, online dating today has unveiled a new and refreshing face that has become acceptable to many. Banking on the concept of hassle-free and time-saving socialization alternative for people on-the-go, online dating has become a credible and reliable avenue in expanding one’s social pool and connection.

With the advancement of future online matchmaking, more and more people are getting hooked to discovering endless possibilities trough online dating. Most people who are into online dating say that it is a good avenue for knowing and meeting other people because you can be very exact in your likes and dislikes and you get to choose who are the people you will communicate with that have the same interest as you are. While look into online dating as a fresh start to expanding their social connections, others see it as a catalyst for their personal renewal.

Aside from these, the following are remarkable benefits of online dating:

-If you want to ensure safety, online dating is safer compared to meeting someone personally. Today, online dating services create ways to protect their user’s identity until they are ready to reveal it.

-It is less expensive compared to regular dating. If you go out on a date, let’s say in a restaurant, it would probably take you $70 to $100 in just one night. But going on an online dating service would cost you $20-$50 monthly that comes with special services plus you will have not only one opportunity to meet and know somebody but you can communicate with others without spending that much.

-Chance meeting is eliminated on online dating. Since you can access the Internet anytime, you can communicate and meet with people 24/7 without the hassle of chance meetings.

-Online dating opens up a better opportunity for you to get somebody better before getting into a commitment. Since the process of online dating moves on a slower pace compared to meeting and dating somebody in person, you will have longer time to know the person you’re interested with.

-Dating at your ultimate comfort. Since online dating is virtual, there are lesser restrictions and definitely no dress codes. Instead of dressing up when you go on a date, you can date online without fussing about your physical appearance.

-You have more dating options and preferences to choose from. Since online dating includes so many people across the globe, you have wider reach to as many cultures as possible.

-Online dating services offer so many choices for you to narrow down. If you are looking for a potential partner, online dating will give you as many possibilities as possible. Since you can communicate with almost everyone on the Internet, you can have your own set of prospects and narrow them down according to your compatibility.

ONLINE DATING FOR FREE

Today, virtual dating has become more popular with the emergence of countless websites that offer free online dating. Listed below are the most popular sites that offer free online dating:

1.Book of Matches. This is one popular site that offers free online dating because the creators believe that online dating should be free, fun, and easy. This specific site combines the ideas of human and computer matching that provides real-time environment.

2.Plenty of Fish. Bearing a tagline of “100% free, put away your credit card,” users are allowed to search people by gender, by state, by city, or even by birthday.

3.Dating Hall. It is quite popular because it offers free membership so people could search “fun and friendship, romance, love, and marriage,” partners.

4.Connecting Singles. It has many supporters because it provides an option for the members/users to meet by choice not by chance.

5.Friend Finder. This site offers free online dating that opens the door for friendship, dating, and romance.



Brenda

Ling Tong asked:


To tell you when your baby is due, your doctor will use a pregnancy due date calculator. After you have it confirmed that you are pregnant, you will probably experience different emotions and feelings – excitement, nervousness, and fatigue. The next step is usually to fix an appointment with your doctor. But perhaps you would rather not wait that long to find out when you can hold your precious baby in your arms.

Of course, your doctor will be the best authority to tell you when your baby is due; but you can use an online pregnancy calculator to find out the tentative date of arrival of your baby. This is a tool that uses the following information to calculate the pregnancy due date.

*You would need to know the first day of your last menstrual period.

*You can get accurate results if you know your body’s cycle.  

Pregnancy due date calculators can be surprisingly accurate. The pregnancy usually lasts 266 days. It is assumed that the time from the last period to the day on which you conceived is a fortnight. These calculations can help you find out your due date, and the formula is simple. You only have to add 280 days to the date on which you had your last period to figure out your estimated date of delivery. But even though you do the research, your doctor will have the last word on confirming the due date.

Many doctors use the pregnancy due date calculator even before an ultrasound test.  After a comprehensive examination, be prepared to hear your doctor’s estimation of the due date, which could be different from yours by a few days or weeks.  This is because your doctor has had the advantage of a full physical exam.

There is one more way to use the pregnancy due date calculator. Suppose you can recall with conviction the actual date on which you conceived, which means you would need to specify the day on which your had sexual intercourse during your ovulation cycle, you can simply add 266 to that date and you would get an almost accurate due date. You must know your body’s ovulation cycle and keep track of when you had sexual contact. Yet, no matter what, it is preferable that you go by your doctor’s evaluation.

For the most part, it is fun to use the pregnancy due date calculator after you discover that you are pregnant, particularly when you are eager to know when your baby is due. Obviously your findings are no substitute, as you will need the doctor’s endorsement. Nevertheless, it can give great pleasure just to know the approximate date when you can expect your baby.

Since a pregnancy is expected to last for 40 weeks from first day of your last menstrual period, or 38 weeks from the date on which you conceived, this is all the information you need to get an estimate of your due date with a pregnancy due date calculator, especially if you are the sort who has a regular menstrual cycle.



Shirley

Aphrodite asked:


There are of course no age limits as to who can use online adult dating. In our twelve years of running club-aphrodite.com we have had several members join as late as their mid seventies and many more who were in their sixties when they joined. Obviously they do not find it as easy to make contact or meet up with other swingers as younger members do. Nevertheless, some have been remarkably successful, proving that age isn’t necessarily a barrier, even in purely physical-sexual dating.

Much of the attraction of using online adult dating sites is the ease of making a few mouse-clicks to arrange a date. Using filters to find singles and couples in a specified local area and age range is one of the most popular search features of every site these days. But this leaves older members at more of a disadvantage because the age ranges create a somewhat inflexible attitude in the mind in the searcher. Whereas a face to face encounter leaves the consideration of a person’s actual age almost irrelevant compared with the age they look to be, an online search does almost the opposite. This fact and the impersonal nature of online dating combine to encourage members to lie about their ages. As a general rule, people up to their mid 30’s tend to state their true ages but those who are over 40 tend to be more liberal with the truth.

The older person using an adult dating site is therefore probably right in recognising the need to reduce their stated age so that it falls into a lower range on the search filters but the question is what happens next? Assuming the photographs are not a give away, there is unlikely to be any other problem before the face to face meeting takes place. If the person who has lied really does look the age they are claiming, the liaison is likely to be just as successful as any other. It is only when they look older than the age published in their profile that there is the potential for a real problem to occur.

Under these circumstances, the other person, or couple for that matter, involved in the meeting will almost certainly feel anything from a mild sense of disappointment to outright anger at being lied to and having their time wasted. In the latter case, nothing can be done to retrieve the situation but less severe reactions may leave some scope for still bringing things around to a successful conclusion.

Being honest at this stage and revealing why it was necessary to squeeze into a lower age range filter may help but the really important thing is how much the person who has lied about their age is able to act genuinely younger than their actual age denotes. If they really feel the younger age and play the part convincingly, then there is every chance the other person (or couple) will begin to see them as this and start to forget how they viewed them the moment they first met. This demonstration needs to occur very quickly however. First impressions really do count and the first three or four minutes of any first time meeting usually seals its eventual outcome.

With adult dating, the physical side of things are even more important than in romance or friendship dating, making this kind of turn around more difficult to achieve than it would be for someone who was meeting up in the hope of beginning a long term relationship. Similarly, whereas women tend to be more disadvantaged than men by the age factor in dating generally; the degree of disadvantage is inevitably going to be greater in adult dating situations where physical-sexual considerations far outweigh other factors.

The question was whether to lie about age when using online adult dating sites or not, and if so, whether people can get away with it when it comes to meeting face to face. We think that the answer to both questions is a cautious yes and if you are in your 40’s, 50’, or 60’s and not doing it already, this article should have made you aware of the fact that your ‘competitors’ probably are!



Kenzie

Tyler Jaysen asked:


According to comScore Networks, which monitors consumer behavior on the Internet, 40 million Americans visited at least one online dating site in August — 27 percent of all Internet users for that month. Online dating is no different. Women can be picky because of the gender imbalance and can screen out potential suitors very easy.

Online dating is a popular new tool for initiating romantic relationships, although recent research and media reports suggest that it may also be fertile ground for deception. Unlike previous studies that rely solely on self-report data, the present study establishes ground truth for 80 online daters’ height, weight and age, and compares ground truth data to the information provided in online dating profiles.

Online dating is not a substitute for real interaction with people. The goal, after all, is, if all seems like a good and promising match, to get to know each other IN PERSON. Online dating is merely a way to start that process. Online dating is, in fact, considered the norm for most singles. Online dating is becoming the most effective and efficient method of getting introduced to a large number of available singles. But if you’ve given online dating a passing consideration, you may be a little intimidated to try it.

Furthermore, online dating is fast, you can have as much privacy as you want and it’s cheap! Online dating is no exception. In fact, the idea that you can share personal info with someone before you’ve met face-to-face can even exacerbate those worries.

Never fear, though, experts say that online dating is as safe as any other method for meeting potential partners. Online dating is fun, especially when you consider a dating site your matchmaker. When a dating site has powerful matchmaking capabilities like Yahoo!

Internet dating has been great for the industry. It has warmed an entire generation of users to the prospect of getting help in dating and paying for that help. Internet dating has many benefits, but there are safety issues to consider, since the ‘net allows for greater anonymity and therefore, a greater chance that your date could be lying to you about who he or she really is.

So take hearth that there are a ton of other singles who are looking to meet someone just as you are, for friendship, romance, or love. Single moms and dads are finding online personals to be a convenient way to meet other single parents, for socializing, dating, and even for establishing long-term relationships. In our latest article about Single Parent Dating - How Online Personals Can Be an

Effective Way for Single Parents to Meet , we explore some of the reasons why we think online dating is an especially effective way for busy single parents to put some spice back into their social lives. Singles chat rooms are just like real-life situations in that you’re going to meet indecisive, fickle people. You may be enjoying each other’s company one minute, only to never hear from them again or receive a curt “I’m not interested” message.



Lauryn

Mr Online Dating asked:


 

Flying solo can sometimes have a certain stigma attached especially for females. The singles stigma can become more intense as we age. There is sometimes expectations from family for their 30 + year old sons or daughters to wed and have children and live happily ever after.

 

An alarming 1 in 3 marriages will end in divorce, not to mention the spill over of a failed marriage which can sometimes takes years to undo, its little wonder we are increasingly choosing the singles life nowadays. Pressures such as the high cost of living and other related financial burdens are attributed to many divorces. This is resulting in less reproduction which sees an increasing ageing population emerging.

 

 

As baby boomers age some end up divorced, widowed or have chosen to stay in the singles lifestyle. The singles lifestyle often reflects a ‘live for the moment’ logic which is fantastic and should be experienced by us all at some point in our lives, although there is an increasing amount of singles remaining single and are not planning for tomorrow.

 

This pattern sees ageing singles experiencing and prolonging the ‘lifestyle’ and running out of funds and employment options when they reach their 30s and 40s. This particular group of singles are at more risk of depression or self harm than any other group as research suggests that was carried out at Lexus University. This self destructing lifestyle is becoming the ‘norm’ more than ever among ageing singles which could result in our future and security as a whole come under question. This carefree lifestyle could in fact create less of everything we currently take for granted with ageing singles not playing a part or contributing to society for our future everyday needs where in fact they become the problem. This may well result in less offspring, less fathers, less Mothers, fewer Doctors, less police, fewer volunteers, less school teachers, fewer military, and the list goes on. This could eventually snow ball     and result in  short falls in our every day products and services we assume as a given.

 

So in theory what could result is a larger drain on social services with a declining number of qualified or skilled workers to carry an even bigger load resulting in lopsided societies in terms of qualified workers vs unqualified unqualified workers. If western society doesn’t change its attitude within the next 10 - 15 years, this most certainly will be the emerging outcome.    

 

So is there a fix for this inevitable out of control destiny that is waiting for us? Do we as singles enjoy too much freedom with no means of applying the brake? Does this raise concerns about our 100% unrestricted access to virtually everything on offer? Is democracy killing us slowly?

 

Unrestricted freedom seems to have created a monster among singles that constantly needs to be fead. This beast only grows bigger and hungrier as many of this group are constantly looking for a better social buzz.

The number of ageing singles using free Online dating and chat room services are increasing compared to 5 years ago.Free Online dating and chat services that have offered statistics for this research claim that in 2003 their data base for singles aged between 35 - 45 was at 23%. The same free online dating and chat services have offered statistics for this same age group in 2008 and now show that 35% of their data base consists of this age group. Up 12% in 5 years. This is proof that there are more and more singles simply remaining single for longer than ever before. 

 

Singles travel is a trend that has seen this demographic alter. In 1993 two in ten travelers went abroad as singles. Amazingly, Fourteen years on saw 2007  statistics rise to  six in ten travelers going it alone. Is being partnered up really that bad? It appears many singles are taking life by the horns and riding off into the sunset and are reluctant to return to contribute to the core fundamentals desperately needed for our sustainability. With all the technology and power the world has created we have no immediate means to stop it.

Free Singles Dating Service Online Dating Services Internet Dating Site & Chat Rooms 

 



Citlali

Amy Derby asked:


If you are over 40, and you have spent much time scouring online dating sites, you may be wondering whether there are any lesbians your age who seriously want to find a long term relationship. The Internet seems to be full of young twenty-something lesbians looking for everything from casual encounters to long-term love. Yet, when it comes to the more mature crowd, quality dating prospects may seem few and far between. Here are some tips to find a like-minded woman your own age through an online dating service.

1. Place your own ad. If you were intimidated by the amount of younger posters compared to ones from women your own age, then consider that you might not be the only one. By making the first move, you will likely get responses from many women who will probably confide that they were too shy to post their own ad.

2. Make your ad title specific to your audience. Remember that most online dating sites get hundreds or even thousands of new ads every day, so it is not uncommon for people to skim through ad titles without clicking on and actually reading each individual ad. Put your title to good use by making it specific, rather than using your title as a clever line. If you want to be witty, you can do that in the body of the ad. An ad title of “Looking for Someone to Love” will be more apt to get passed over by your target audience than an ad that says “Affectionate 40+ Woman Seeks Same.”

3. Write a genuine ad. You want your ad to reflect your personality and desires in order to appeal to the type of woman you want to attract. Many people get so caught up in trying to make their ads sound impressive that they forget to be themselves. If your goal in using an online dating service is to find someone to eventually share your life with, then be truthful and sincere when describing yourself and what you want. Being dishonest or fake will only waste your time.

4. Be honest with yourself when reviewing responses. Once you place your ad on a popular online dating site, you will quickly begin to receive responses. Once you begin reading the responses, you will most likely find that a good percentage of the people responding will not interest you. There is no good reason to waste your time, or the time of another person, by pursuing even an email relationship with anyone who does not appeal to you. Whether you delete and ignore such responses or send a brief polite reply letting these women know they are not your type is up to you. Save your time for the responses from women who truly do interest you.

5. Respond warmly to the good prospects. Tell her what you liked about her response and why you think the two of you might make a good match. Ask her any pertinent questions and make sure to answer any questions she asks.

6. If you click with someone, call her. Most people do not like to spend too much time going back and forth by email or chatting online. A phone call will help you better determine what she is really like and give you both the opportunity to set up a first date.

7. Make you first date casual. As much fun as it can be to get all dressed up for a night on the town, a casual meal or coffee at a local cafe is often a more practical first date option. That way, you are not committed to spending several hours with each other, and since you will be in a more comfortable environment, it will be easier to get to know each other.

Whether you find an immediate connection or it takes several tries to find a woman worth your time, meeting someone through an online dating service can feel awkward at any age. Try to enjoy the process and make some fond memories in the process.



Julie

Mr Online Dating asked:


With the growing popularity of online dating as a valid, fun and useful way to meet people, La Trobe University’s School of Public Health and the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society are conducting a project to find out about the experiences of young adults who use online dating. In particular they’re looking to interview people between the ages of 18 and 30.

This project grew out of a smaller study conducted by one of the researchers, Danielle Couch, when she was studying and using online dating herself:

‘I’d used various online dating sites to meet people and had my own little processes for making my way through the online dating world. I’d send a wink or a kiss, maybe we’d correspond via a few emails or chat online for a while. Then if we decided to meet face to face I’d want to think about when and where that would be. I started wondering if other people followed the same kind of routine or did they do things differently. So I started developing a research idea.

The outcome of Danielle’s ponderings was a small research project as part of her post-graduate studies. She interviewed 15 people online, using chat. In the interviews the participants chatted online about their own online dating experiences, what they did and didn’t do to manage risk, how many people they’d met, how many people they’d had sex with through online dating, did they take safety precautions, were they into safe sex and how did it all compare to meeting people in other ways.

Working in public health, I knew there’d been some research in the US looking at the relationship between online dating and the spread of sexually transmitted infections  - how the internet can let you meet people quickly and how it could be an efficient way to access casual sex partners and potentially spread infection. I wondered was this relevant in Australia? Did other online daters think about this stuff? Was it any different to going out and picking someone up in a bar on the weekend?’

The interviews ranged from 30 minutes to 3 hours in duration, depending on what each person wanted to share and what else they were doing at the time.

One of the things about interviewing people online is that you have to recognise they’re probably multi-tasking. We all do it when we’re online. So I knew when I was chatting with people I was one of several things they might be doing - that’s just the reality of being online. I had one memorable interview where a participant was in four other dating related chats and also watching some sexually explicit webcam action. I remember her apologising to me at one stage as she was a bit slow in responding to one of my questions as she was getting distracted by the web-cam show.

The general consensus was the people interviewed enjoyed the process; in fact several interviewees would often update Danielle via chat on their most recent experiences as they wanted these included in the project.

The findings from this earlier study have led to the current project. Over the next few months the researchers are looking to interview between 30 and 40 people via chat about their online dating experiences. If you’d like to be part of this project and share your thoughts, experiences and opinions about online dating then just add onlinedating@latrobe.edu.au to your messenger or visit project webpage to find out more. All interviews will be confidential.



Christa

David Thomas asked:


This dating profile was tested on an online dating agency, and achieved a 40% response rate from the girls viewing the profile. A photograph was not included in the profile. A 40% rate of response from your profile really is incredible when you’re dealing with online dating agencies, and especially where a photograph has not been submitted! In my opinion, you need knowledge to create a profile that works and gives you responses, which can come from experience, as in my case, or from getting tips from articles such as this. It’s worth the time and the effort to create a good profile, because otherwise you are wasting your time, and possibly your money, on online dating sites!

The dating profile is as follows:

The tag line: “Isn’t it time you found a man of mystery?”

The description: “With interests in martial arts, dancing, clarinet playing and flying, you could do worse than to get to know this software engineer! Cool, suave and sophisticated are the watch words. Dubbed as the next Johnny English, er… James Bond by his friends, you’re sure not to go far wrong by clicking through lots of ads to send him a message! Be quick, because he’s sure to be snapped up soon by the millions of women here!”

Let’s analyse the profile in detail:

1. The tag line is the first thing people see on this particular dating site. You want to get them to click through and view your profile. There are probably more successful tag lines than this one, but you do want yours to tie in well with your profile if possible. It’s a little like search engines. If you are searching for information, and click through to a page that didn’t contain useful information for you, what did you do? You headed straight for the back button on your browser! This is what you don’t want your profile readers to do, if you can help it.

2. Note that I have not used the word “I” in the dating profile. Instead, I talk about myself in the third person, and I’ve used the word “you” a great deal more than will be seen in your average profile. Who is the one person you’re most interested in? It’s you. If you can factor the word “you” into your profile, it will help. The reader is asking the question, “What’s in it for me?” This also makes the profile more unusual.

3. The dating profile is short, snappy, and to-the-point. Nobody’s going to read an essay, however interesting you think you are! However, if you can make your profile compelling reading, it’s OK to make it longer. There are differences of opinion here, but my personal belief is that you should not reveal too much about yourself in your profile. If your profile contains all there is to know about you, what would be the point in somebody sending you a message to learn more?

4. I have listed some interests that girls would especially find interesting. With regards martial arts, the attraction is obvious. Girls like to know their man can take care of himself! Secondly, dancing. Plenty of girls really enjoy to dance, but it’s a skill that many men won’t pluck up the courage to try, or even admit to. I actually play a wide variety of musical instruments, including the keyboard, saxophone and drums, but I think the clarinet has the most romantic and warmest sound of all these instruments. Lots of people in my position may have chosen to write about the saxophone at this point. Finally, what girl could resist a date with a pilot? I haven’t actually stated that I am a pilot, although in actual fact, I am a trainee pilot, but I could equally well be someone who enjoys travelling a lot, which would also be very attractive.

5. Many girls are not interested in geeky software engineers, but I’ve written about my hobbies that show I’m a well-rounded person who has other interests besides programming. Also, software engineers do pull in a respectable amount of money. Girls are partly looking for someone who is financially secure, and this goes some way to showing that this is the case. Finally, by writing about something that may not appeal to girls that much, I’ve given some credence to the dating profile, and have essentially suggested that I’m telling the truth in it.

6. I have added some humour to the dating profile. In case you don’t know, Johnny English is a James Bond spoof film, where the main character, played by Rowan Atkinson, is a complete idiot! The part about clicking through lots of ads is specific to a UK dating agency where you can choose not to pay for the service if, instead, you view advertising emails that they send you, and visit the advertised websites. You earn credits by doing this, and once you have enough credits, you can send someone a message. Probably the most requested trait in personal ads is a good sense of humour.

7. I am lucky to be a skilled writer. There are no spelling mistakes or problems with grammar that I am aware of in the above dating profile. If you are not very good at writing, you can quite easily check for these by writing your profile in Word for Windows, and checking spelling and grammar. Even better would be to have someone who is good at writing look over your profile for you!

You have to think like an advertiser, but you also have to try to paint an honest picture of yourself, and your profile should be a mixture of these two elements. Think what makes you attractive; perhaps ask your friends; and then write about it! Put in some of the elements that I’ve used, such as humour, and you’re sure to get results!



Ericka

Scott Patterson asked:


If you’re over 35 years of age and would like to learn how to date younger women then this article will be critical to your success. When referring to “younger” we mean the age of consent. There are many men who are in their 30s, 40s and even 50s who prefer younger women. They each have their own reasons. Some men prefer younger women because they tend to have less hang ups, less emotional baggage, and aren’t as eager to jump into a serious relationship. But usually it comes down to the level of energy and physical beauty. And that’s what most want anyway. Some men like to date younger women because it makes them feel younger. Whatever the reason there are a lot of men that prefer to date younger women.

In general, men are afraid to approach women because they are afraid of being rejected. This is no different for men who want to approach a younger woman but don’t want to appear to be “the dirty old man.” In reality some women actually prefer older men. I recently got turned down by a 25 year old woman because she only dates 40 year old men and older (I am in my mid-30s). It was ok because I eventually met a 27 year old graduate student who preferred dating an older man. First, a man has to realize that some women, especially in their 20s may think of dating an older man as “gross”. But that is her problem, not yours because there are other women who will find you “sexy”.

Some dating experts recommend that you completely change the way you dress, the way you talk, and even change your hobbies so you will be more attractive to a younger woman. I partially agree with this strategy. You shouldn’t go out and try snow-boarding if it does not appeal to you. It might make more sense to take dance lessons instead which is a great way to meet younger women. Younger women who like to date older men are typically looking for a more mature, financially stable man who will accept her for who she is. In fact, many younger women will think that you won’t want to date them because they are younger, so when you first talk to them you should tell them about a date in the past where you did date a younger woman. That way she will know you are totally ok with it.

A great place to meet younger women is on the Internet. You can put out your own online profile and specifically state that you are looking for a younger woman. Don’t be surprised when all the older women start e-mailing you and challenging you that they are more qualified to be with you than some young woman. I once received an e-mail from an older woman who wrote me “I have a lot more to offer than any young gal!”. Wow, some people take things way too personal. Another place to meet younger women is at church singles groups, night clubs, coffee shops, bookstores, shopping malls, college cities, music concerts, food fairs, restaurant openings, plays, and the list goes on and on.

You must be proactive in your approach and realize that this is a numbers game. The more women you meet the more phone numbers you will obtain. The more phone numbers you obtain the better the odds of you meeting that special someone. And remember, just because some women may not find the idea of dating an older man a good idea, doesn’t make it true. There will always be women out there that want to date an older man. Always.



Carla